IT'S ALMOST HERE!!!!

If you had of asked me a couple of months ago about if being adopted has effected my life, I would have told you no.

Was I in denial or what?

I will post my adoption story in a later post. But because Saturday is fast approaching I figured that I should talk about this in my first post. So what is so big about Saturday you say? Well it's the day that I am going to meet my bmom for the first time!!!!.  Nervous/anxious/scared/happy is what is running through my mind right now.

So many questions to ask. So many answers to hear. So much stuff unkown.

So many things to tell her. So many tears to shed.  A lifetime of things for us to share.

Well how did I find her you ask? 
Facebook. Yes good old Facebook. I always knew my bmom's name (I'll explain in a later post). So after many late night conversations with a good friend, which always included adoption stuff amongst other things, I started getting more and more curious about my bmom. Plus I have been reading her blog and alot of other blosgs that were attached to hers..... So one night I nervously typed her name into facebook and  there she was.

My own reflection looking back at me.


Was this real? or was this all just a dream?


Reality quickly set in.

So when I found her I quickly sent the picture to my dearest friend. She has been such a great suppport and help in all of this.  She insisted that I write a message to her right away. I needed time. I was excited that I found my bmom but really what do I say to her?  Lots of prayer was definitely the best route. 

"Lord what do I do?"


"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths" -Proverbs 3:5-6

My answer was clearly set out before me in this verse. After the 4th day from the time I found her, it was time to write the first message. In it I stated that she may be my bmom and gave her my birthdate....

Would she think I was crazy and not write back? 


And so the waiting began.

She wrote back the next night. Needless to say that she wanted me to prove that I was her daughter. So I gave her my birthname. A few hours later she replied back.

It was offical. She confirmed that I was her "DAUGHTER". She was my "MOTHER".

The separation that happened at birth 33 years ago was finally coming to an end. That book was being closed and so now a new one was about to begin. Through many messages  we got to know a little bit about each other it was very clear that we both wanted to meet and that we wanted to start building a relationship.  So after a week of our reunion I was ready and so we made a date to meet for the following Saturday.

Oh yes and something that I don't want to leave out. I have a brother. A younger brother whom I hope to meet somtime. "B" (bmom) and I decided that her and I would meet and get to know each other before we brought kids into the mix. (I have 2 boys of my own).

Needless to say after 2 weeks of finding my bmom, on February 6th, 2010, 3 days from today, I am going to be meeting her. Wow I can't believe it's almost here!!!  I will arrive at the restaurant before her as I need some time to collect my thoughts, get the nerves under control and do lots of praying. What will my reaction be when our eyes meet? I don't know. Probably tears. What will the first thing that I say to her? I don't know. Probably hi. What will I call her? I don't know. Haven't really thought that one out. But more than likely, Brenda.  Will this book be an easy one to write? I don't know. Probably not.

But I do know this:
God is before me in all of this. HE will give me the strength and knowledge that I need through it all. Before I knew that this day was coming, HE already knew it was going to happen. (How awesome is that!) God has placed this journey before me and I am willing to let HIM lead me down it one step at a time.

Page by page, chapter by chapter. A new book of life is going to be written, this time with 2 extra people in it. My bmom, "B" and my bbrother, "T". Am I happy to start this new book? I sure am. When will this book end? I hope not soon.
   

Why?

So many questions to ask.  

 So many answers to hear.  So much stuff  umknown.

 
So many things to tell her.

So many tears to shed.

 A lifetime of things for us to share.