Update

So it's been awhile since I last blogged. Alot of stuff has gone on since I last posted. Some good....some bad.

I meet B a few times since I last posted. One was a scheduled meeting which went well. This meeting was in March and was the second time that we meet in person. I got to learn more about my extended family. I learned that a few people that I already know are related to me. I also got to learn a little bit more about B and T (my bbrother).

The other meeting we had wasn't planned at all. We ended up bumping into each other while I was at the mall with my kids.  I had my 2 boys and their friend at the mall to meet some basketball players from our local team.  When we got there, Here was B and T sitting on some chairs that were set up in the area. I couldn't believe caus what were the chances. But of course T likes basketball so of course he would of  been there.  It was kinda of awkward seeing her there without it being scheduled.  She was eager to introduce me to T which was fine until she introduced me to him as her friend.  My heart sunk because I was clearly more than a friend. I am the child that she bore and I was also T's sister.  I mean I wasn't expecting for B to come right out tell T the whole story at the mall. My heart sank because she was continuously lying to T. Anytime he asked her who I was when he saw her talking to me on facebook chat, she would tell him that I was a friend. I know that it would of been hard for her to tell him but really how much longer.  What was she holding back. So after that initial shock came another, B kept insisting that I get a picture taken with T. I'm thinking why would I be getting a picture taken with T when clearly we just met and he doesn't know who I am. How awkward for the both of us.  I just kept saying no and so finally she gave up asking. then she wanted Tyler to get a picture taken with my boys and I just ignored it and T was like why. Anyway that picture ended up not happening either. If T had of known who we were then getting to pictures would have been no problem... So after the boys did there thing we parted.

So that night you can just imagine our conversation.  I told B how awkard I felt about her introducing me to T as a friend and then asking to get pictures taken.  She understood how I felt.  Then I asked her when she was going to tell Tyler. She said was worried about how T would react because he was against girls having babies at such a young age. Now T is 17 and so I was sure that he was old enough to understand. And besides she would keep telling me that T always wanted a sister. After our chat that night she decided that she would tell T.  That same night I get a fb message from T asking me if I was really his sister cause his mother told him but in a joking way....hmmmm.....didn't really understand why it was presented to him in such a way.....I replyed and told him that it was true and told him that I wanted to get to know him but only when he felt ready to.

Since then, T and I fb chatted a few times getting to know about each other a little.  But now everything has died off. I was suppose to meet B at the beginning of this month but I had to call it off. B and I only talked a few times this month. I did send her a mesaage last week and she wrote me back but it basically said the same thing that I wrote to her. But I'm wondering if I hadn't of wrote her would she have contacted me at all. Then the other night I was talking to T on fb chat and then all of a sudden he just stopped answering me back. I kept myself online for a good hour waiting for him to answer back and nothing. So I ended up going offline and haven't talked to him since. After all this has gone on, I still don't know how it's all going to pan out.

Hopefully my weekend away this weekend will give my time to reflect and refresh my mind and get some answers to the next steps I should take regarding my relationship with B and T.